Sunday, July 5, 2015

Jim tells me I "don't like people." It's not that I don't like them, I have a hard time TRUSTING.

I've seen marriages fail-- not because they didn't claim to "love" the other person... but because they didn't love the other person MORE than themselves.

I don't trust imperfection. I worry that another person may love their own desires over the needs of their neighbor- specifically, my children. I don't trust that any person entrusted to watch my children has pure motive of their well being, all of the time. They couldn't... they're imperfect. Our children have also inherited this imperfection. It is my responsibility as a parent to protect, prepare & raise a responsible person. Usually raising a responsible person requires attention and praise. At other times this requires admonition & discipline. Always tempered with empathy and respect...

As I read about gun control, I think of this fundamental issue. I see people so bent on their own desires and "rights" they can be down right demeaning or bull-headed. -Controlling guns is not the basic issue. I see genocides being performed in Africa with machetes. Does one rally for machete control? In the Bible, Cain killed his brother by bludgeoning him with a rock or stick. Does one rally to ban rocks? -Where there is an evil desire, someone will plan with what is available to them.

While I do not advocate "for" the 2nd amendment & the NRA, I have benefitted from their existence. I do have guns readily available and my family knows how to shoot. We do not use them as "weapons" (against others) because we have been morally taught to respect life. On the flip side, would I use my pistol against another person in a life or death situation? I hope never to find out...

In an ideal world, I would trust my children's pure motives & others' motives, as well... but we don't live in an idealistic world.

I do not believe the glass is half full or half empty. I believe YOU fill your own glass with your own works... Some allow their "glass" to become empty and complain. Others demand or cry that they want others to make their glass "fuller". Some have more than they could ever fill their glass with and still desire "your" glass.

I dream of a fair world where others freely share and I don't have to worry of an ulterior motive other than what is stated. I am blunt when I meet people. I am not "rude" but (if I speak) I plainly lay out my intentions. Some call this wearing my heart on my sleeve. I call myself a guarded heart. If I speak, I will be direct. I speak plainly to my children and my husband. I speak "plainly" when I say 'I wish I could trust.'

Much would have to change on the world scene before I could relax... and lower my guard...


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