I've been injured so many times that I get nervous when a "niggle" persists longer than a couple of days. I assess: "Is it a decreasing-annoyance niggle or affecting-my-gait niggle?"

After my last 1/2 marathon & 10K weekend, I had a couple of niggles. I took some days off, cut back my mileage this past week & decided to try again, this week. One problem: running solo meant I was slacking, today, my first day "back," & considering bailing on Churchill's, next weekend. The negative talk started in my mind: "I am slow. I am fat. I had a fluke 'good' race. I am going to suck at Churchill's-- in front of everyone. People are going to see me walking..."

I considered selling my spot, today. I tried to get out for a run & couldn't. I was sure Churchill's would be the same. I would lack energy & mojo. Then-- there was a Yeti intervention. One of my coaches used our private group message to communicate our route & suggested head lamps. I hadn't run with the group in weeks because of racing & just easing back, afterwards. I didn't know what the reception would be. -I should not have doubted. Everyone is always smiling.

We started our tempo run & one woman asked if we could run through the graveyard on the way back. The group was enthusiastic- except me. I-am-a-chicken. I was out voted & we looped through on the way back. I wasn't scared. I would have preferred not to have gone through... but no one tried to scare me; so, it was all good.

We increased our pace & eased the pace through 6 miles. I just "hold on" during these work outs. I don't know what pace we are hitting or for how long. I trust our coaches for this. As we came up monument hill, I felt strong.

I don't know what Churchill's will bring. I may have a crappy race. I may have a great race. I do know one thing: I won't know unless I do it.

Running with company, tonight, made the miles a whole lot easier, much more fun & finally "done." The workout reminded me that my body is stronger than I think. Miles at Churchill's, here I come.

Today, I participated in a small race. It was a 1/2 marathon & their 5th year. This was my first time at this race because it is usually right after Detroit. I normally pick Detroit & can't seriously "race" two weekends in a row.

This year, however, I ran Chicago TWO weeks ago. There was no reason not to try.

I had three people asking if I was going to be there; so, the pressure to participate (& perform) were in my head.

There were 4 of us that talked about running together. We discussed pace. One changed her mind & ran solo-- then there were 3. I was going to stay with the group; but after Chicago, I needed to know what I could do. Eventually, the other 2 broke pace & I didn't slow down to stay with them. I was running solo since mile 6. I felt comfortable until mile 11. I only had 2 more miles. I broke pace to accommodate for shin splints.

I KNOW I heel strike. I know I need to lean. I know I need to kick back not reach forward with my "straight knees." I know I should engage my glutes. If I did... I wouldn't be cramping & would be doing faster times. "Doing" it all is a different story, however. When I do one of the list, I immediately feel my pace surge! I just mentally tire thinking of good form, if it isn't natural, & slip quickly into bad habits. 🙈

My time was 2:00 on the nose. This is a 1/2 marathon PR for me. I've run the distance faster; but, it was during a 25K-- so there's no record of it except on my Garmin. 😁

I am finishing my regiment of steroids & antibiotics from my food reaction in Chicago. I feel like I've gained 5 pounds! I'm too afraid to look but my tight clothes are confirming without a number.

The extra weight made today an unexpected surprise. A friend told me, today: "Dang you're fast! Look how much longer my legs are than yours. You just pick 'em up & put 'em down, fast!" She had no idea how much I appreciated hearing that. I focus so much on poor biomechanics, I forget: it's still a matter of how fast your cadence is, too. Apparently, these shortie legs excel at turning over. 😁 My little cartoon-spinner legs get me where I need to go-- some days faster than others.

However, a girl cannot live on cadence alone. 😁 Back to the drawing board. Churchill's is on deck, next.

Copied from Facebook- my race recap: 

EXPO: As Jim & I walked the almost 4 miles to the expo, we saw some pretty amazing things. We took some awesome photos & talked to some complete strangers. I saw a "monster" promoting a local Chicago race. I had to get a silly picture... then my husband yelled out, "It's a Yeti!" as he's taking the photo. I was dumbfounded. "Why didn't I realize that, sooner?!" My Training group is called the Yetis! It was great! 

As I walked up to the expo, holding hands with Jim, I was overwhelmed. A bucket list race- that I never thought I'd do; with my death-defying husband; knowing our daughters were safe, still sleeping in our room; looking at the lake ahead; looking at the buildings to our left & thousands of people surrounding us... I was SO HAPPY to even BE there. Just getting here has been a journey. 

While I train to race; I try not to lose sight of what a great experience it all is. I try to remember to appreciate what I can do. 

Training for a marathon puts you in many situations. Race day is never predictable, however. Less than a mile into the race, a woman tripped in front of me. I almost stepped on her. Mile three, a woman asked if I was okay. "Yes." "You have something leaking on your back." Another runner hands me a paper towel. I look at my side & there is vomit or diarrhea on my right side. I am COVERED from my back to my abdomen in something sticky. I stop behind a bus area, take off my Hydraquiver & check my backside. Did I have the runner trots?!?! No-- from what I can gather: apparently someone threw their gel pack & hit me, or I leaned into it in the corral. It was on my strap & every time it swayed as I ran, it rubbed onto my arm. My arm carried it to my side. I was covered! I stopped at a water station. They dumped water on my shirt & we tried to wash it out. I went out again & felt the "gunk" hitting my arm from my strap. I stopped at the next water stop & they washed the strap to my harness. I took off again & realized I had I giant spot on the top of my hand. I stopped again to wash my hands. That was mile 3, 7 & 9. Good thing I wasn't racing.

I tried to stay between 10-10:30 miles because I wanted to see everything. I did! I saw the Chinese dragons. I saw the ROTC guys spinning their wooden rifles. I saw the cross- dressing guys blasting music & blowing kisses. 😳 I saw an Elvis impersonator. I saw school bands, bagpipes, drummers 🤘🏼, heard Salsa music, Gangem Style music & dancers, young kids asking for high-5's, PEOPLE (!!!). There was not a 1/10 of a mile without people cheering their heads off. I turned onto LaSalle (?) & the crowd's cheering was thunderous & loud (!!!) echoing off all the old buildings. I started crying. All of these complete strangers were cheering for other strangers! A woman saw me crying, reaches out to touch me & cheers me on! I started crying more! Then two other people tell me it's okay & that I'm doing great. This was not unique. I had numerous people calling to me when I got shin splints & stopped to stretch. Strangers were calling to "Mexico", "Australia" & all the other countries or groups with advertisements on their shirts. One man yelled out to me: "Good job, Pigtails!" I laughed. I gave a thumbs-up to the bands. I was amazed at a man using a folding chair as a crutch & had his arm around a police officer as he gimped to the finish. I saw numerous people cramping- like me. I saw people vomiting. I saw people whisked away as they collapsed. I saw a woman getting loaded onto a makeshift emergency 4 wheeler with an IV. --Yeah, slow is good for me. She was ahead of me but at least I would finish. 

I saw my family on the course-cheering- 💕 & a fellow INKnBURN alumni! She wasn't racing, she was spectating- saw me, called out my name & gave me a high-5. Unbelievable!!! I thought I'd be "alone" on the course, today- a "no name" blending into the 45,000 runners. I was wrong.

As I trotted along, I thought, "I'll stick to 1/2's. I'm done with marathons. They hurt." I know I'll forget & sign up, again. The crowds & experiences far out weigh the discomfort I felt. 

As I got home & assessed this past weekend, I was a mixed bag of emotions. 

Mommy Guilt: I took my kids out of their study/homework routines & they have to pay the Piper, today. I feel like I'm sending them into battle without a sword & telling them to "do your best." 

Disbelief: It's hard to believe it really happened & it's over. Lots of practice & training-- now it's "just done." 

Beating myself up: "You should have pushed the pace & sucked it up. Your finisher's time is a joke."

Self kindness: I was fighting an Achilles niggle. The last time I raced through it, I was down for a year! A slower pace would ensure I could participate & still live to tell the tale (& do my next race) in two weeks. "You made the right choice." 

Guilt: Time to pay the bills for a Chicago weekend for 4. 

Gratitude: My family came. They all showed up, together, on the course-- for the first time ever!!! I was SO happy to see them at mile 12! 

Happiness: Knowing the girls (& Jim) got to see a new place, seeing a "bigger picture", outside of our country homestead, makes me happy. They know there are "options" past our back yard. They don't have to "settle."

Gratitude: My body is an amazing thing. Even with a mommy pooch & poor biomechanics, it got me through 26.2 miles of concrete. I can be upset that I didn't go faster (which I kind of am); but, I am amazed that I am walking & getting on with daily obligations, today. I asked my body to do something the majority of people will never ask their bodies to do. It came through the best it could, on that day. 💕

I hugged Jim before I entered the park, on race day. I thanked him & told him how much I loved him. I cried a bit. -Athletes, only, were allowed to the start. (We were scanned for weapons & security was tight. I appreciated it.) It was a stark reality of being separated from your family. I knew it wasn't permanent; but it was a reminder. I thought if this is "it" & I never see him again, Life has been good to me & more than fair. To experience your body's potential after a near death experience makes you HIGHLY aware of how easily it could all go away, quickly-- & I never want that to happen, again. 

I felt guilty all day thinking about my kids not studying or getting all their homework done, this weekend. Both had tests or projects, today. They rolled with it & got it done. I was relieved.

4 hour marathon or 5 hour marathon--> Selfish? Irrelevant to life? A joke? It's all relative. I genuinely am grateful that I can do this at all & I really enjoyed our whirlwind trip. As I wrote ALL of this down, A friend tagged me on Facebook, letting me know that registration will be opening, this month, for next year's race. Chicago 2018, I will probably be back. 

I don't mean to keep sounding the "you almost died" alarm to Jim... but... GEEZ... I have little flash backs all of the time!

Today, Jim & I did a shortie 5K. "Shortie" is relative. "Slow" is relative. Jim couldn't participate in this race last year. It took everything for him to attend with me then sit. The year before that, he was bed ridden & I missed the race all together. Entering a race "on a whim" was unheard of for Jim. At one time running with someone was difficult for me. At one time running slower than my normal pace was a no-no for my ego & anyone who would see my race results, later.

Today, none of that matters when I'm out with Jim. People were flooding past us. All I could think was: "But we're DOING it!"

At one time the THOUGHT of food would make Jim gag. Today, seeing him talk about donuts after the race, order them, excitedly open the package then close his eyes as he bit into them & let out an "ummmmmm" sound---> it made my heart smile!

He would never have worn a costume to a race. At one time I wouldn't either! Now, here we were in front of God & country trotting around like SNL cheerleaders. He said he "did it for me." I appreciate that. I did it for him! To encourage someone to run, encourage them to be playful & enjoy the run, look around during the run, then stay with them for the run--> that's what makes a partnership work in running & life.

I don't take any of it for granted. I was around families & a supportive community. It was beautiful seeing people & chatting but nothing compared to seeing Jim accomplish the impossible--> running... & eating that donut.

I am a happy girl! 💕