I didn't know "what" I'd be able to do, today. I had a long run, yesterday, & my ankles were a bit tender. I saw some familiar faces & was asked the age old question amongst runners: "What pace are you doing?" -Seriously, I don't know "what" I can do. It fluctuates from day to day. I thought I should be able to hold a low 8 minute per mile pace. SECRETLY, I was hoping for an 8:05 pace. The gun went off & I took off... I was feeling comfortable but my mouth was a little dry. *sucking wind?* I looked at my Garmin & it said I was doing a 6:50 per mile pace. While I FELT okay I was pretty sure I wouldn't be able to hold that for 3.1 miles-- at least not yet. I slowed- on purpose. As I looked down periodically, I was seeing a 7:30-ish pace. I wondered if that was still too much to ask. As I saw myself leaning toward a high 7 min mile, I was getting mad. My mind was reeling. "Sub 8's for three miles. That was your long term goal. You're doing it." While it was happening, I already wasn't happy that I wasn't trying harder for mid 7's. "Just get 3 sub 8's then you can shoot for 7:30's on your next one..."
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It's amazing the dialogue I have in my head. Sometimes I tell myself to cut myself some slack & go easy. Sometimes I'm really beating myself to work harder. I AM noticing that I haven't heard the voice that said I "couldn't" for awhile. I was surprised to hear a new voice, regularly, "Come on, you can do this. You've got this. You've done this before. This is the same thing you've already done at track..." I cannot tell you what a MENTAL boost the Marathon in Training Group has been for me! KNOWING I "can" is MORE than 1/2 the battle for me personally.
I am forever indebted to Coach Mary for making a wallflower feel welcome & STAYING with the program when every ounce of me wanted to bolt, hide & not come back (mentally). Coach Eric for doing all of our pacing at track & long runs. Him telling us the pace we were trying to hit & getting us there, I KNEW I could do it-- no doubt. Even our cheerleader, Jenifer (who has since moved to a different pace group) runs through my mind, "Woooooo! We've got this!" (then fist bumps the group).
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The support I've received from Jim has been HUGE! Having him with me on training runs is amazing & gets me out the door, regularly.
I- seriously- don't know what time I'll have in Canton. The elevation is an unknown for this living-in-pancake-flat-ville girl. All of this is new & I'm just enjoying the transformation. I am seeing advancement & I know it's all "working." This year & next year... I'm just happy to see the numbers going down. Of course, I'd like to see PR's by a minute per mile at every race!😁 It's not likely, however-- not YET... 💕
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