Do you BELIEVE You Are a "Runner"?

I've been listening to a new podcast. While I cannot relate to the tragedy this woman has experienced, and, often, I find her ramblings annoying, my heart does go out to her. I DO, however, strongly relate to some of the issues she speaks about as a runner.

She is a relatively new runner, as I feel I am as well. She never participated in sports when she was growing up. Neither did I. She had NO idea what she was doing when she first started; same for me. She has body issues. I do as well.

Both of our starts were "extreme" with advancements, newbie mistakes and frustrations. Because of the  lack of an athletic foundation in youth, we have both floundered with finding "resolve" in considering ourselves "good" at running, despite tremendous personal advancements.

Then came her comments about the struggle of calling herself a "runner." This struck a chord with me. I struggled with this "title" for years. I was waiting for that "moment" when I would FEEL like a "RUNNER." Years passed and I never felt comfortable calling myself this. I would say "I run," or the self-deprecatingly worse comment: "I TRY to run." I chased "distances" hoping titles of "1/2 Marathoner" or "Marathoner" would make me FEEL like I was a runner. I did not despite finishing those distances.

I once thought pace defined a runner. I was told (by a non runner) that "running" was a 9 minute pace or faster. When I achieved a 9 minute pace & shared this, I was told, by the same person, that an 8 minute pace was "running." I was heartbroken as I had chased (and failed to reach) to define myself with another person's definition of what a "runner" was -and then the definition was changed. (He had no comment when I told him I hit 7 minute/mile paces.) -Then, I had an epiphany: Running 8 minute miles is SLOW compared to local runners that run 6 or 7 minute miles. If they tout that THEY are runners & people slower than them are "joggers" or "not runners" does the same rule apply to them when comparing them to Shalane Flanagan? Is SHE not considered a runner because she is slower than some male runners or other elite females? No one in their right mind would deny she is a "runner." -Clearly, a PACE wasn't a definition to being a "runner," either. Pace is TRULY relative.

SO: I had finished the distances of numerous half marathons and a marathon and didn't feel the definition of "runner" applied to me, yet. My pace had improved; but, I still didn't feel comfortable with the "title" of "runner." While I realized that a "runner" is simply a person that tries to run despite pace or an occasional walking break, in the back of my mind, that definition applied to everyone else- not to me.

After hearing that podcast, I relived my journey. I heard this woman relate her similar struggle; but, I was curious about other people. After the podcast, I asked the question on our local running group's Facebook page and the responses were favorable and supportive. Many said that finishing a certain distance helped them feel like a runner. Others said: running with others made them feel like a runner, following a training plan or meeting a time goal/pace helped them FEEL like a runner. Returning to running after an injury helped one person realized what she loved.

Overwhelming, however, I, personally, related to comments from a woman named Kendra. She stated: "...I don't do it for the love of running, I do it because I WANT to love it and because I love the way I feel when I'm done... But I do love a challenge and I love the sense of accomplishment afterward." (Did you notice how many times she used the word "love?" I noted that she didn't use the word "like" or "tolerate." She was tying a strong emotion to the sport.)  While this triathlete is MORE than capable of running, she noted stirring an emotional attachment to the sport. When I asked if she felt like an "ATHLETE" there was notable e-silence, then her answer: "...I had to really think about this one. My first instinct was to say no because, instinctively, my brain thinks of people who played sports in school or professionals, or the amateurs who are really fast. My brain had a really hard time wrapping around the concept of 'myself' and 'athlete' in the same sentence. After really thinking about it, I guess I still feel the need to tie the word 'athlete' to competition. So while I struggle with actually saying it out loud, the fact that I compete in races, worry about my finish times/speed, and keep trying to improve versus just exercising for my health, makes it okay, in my mind, to call myself an athlete. I am always comparing myself to other people and often get frustrated and somewhat give up when I can't seem to get any faster or any stronger. I often feel like the joke in the crowd, which adds to my inability to truly consider myself an 'athlete'." -Finally! Someone that felt the same way as myself and has come to the same conclusions! 

I found that those that were exposed to sports at a young age found less discomfort at calling themselves a "runner" or "athlete" while those that may have started sports later in life (me), or may not be as athletically "gifted" (me, again), found the title more uncomfortable to accept. I also feel that the journey of running (or any pursued sport) sparks many to continually chase better performances. It is the carrot that keeps us coming back. It is the elusive pursuit of bettering oneself that gets us on the road or track or treadmill when we "don't" want to... because... we really DO want "to." Comparison steals our joy (to oneself or to others); yet, comparison lights the fire that keeps us training. This whole journey of improvement is a process. It is a Yin-Yang, a love-hate, a Tango, a roller coaster of emotion, sometimes. It is a process that humbles us and allows us to be our own biggest cheerleader. It gives us confidence, strength (mentally and physically) and brings us in tune with our bodies.

So "when" did I feel comfortable calling myself a "runner?" It's when I gained CONFIDENCE. My confidence has come through time and a record of more consistently hitting goals. I had floundered in the past and my performance was extremely inconsistent. Confidence has come as I've started to gain control of my worrisome negative talk, performed better & performed consistently. Confidence has come as I've joined a training group and surrounded myself with encouraging people all struggling to better themselves as well. When I realized struggling wasn't a sign of failure, I realized it was part of the process, I was more patient with myself. Confidence came when I started wearing running clothes that I love and that made me look and FEEL like a strong runner. Never underestimate how strength can make you feel and perform. "Confidence" was the common thread in the comments on Facebook. Whether the confidence came from community or from within themselves when achieving a personal goal, people became confident that they WERE a runner.

My journey is still rocky. I revert back to saying, "I run" rather than calling myself a "runner;" but, I may be personally harsh. I found comfort in the many positive comments from my fellow Toledo Roadrunner Community members.

Austin said: "A runner is someone who seeks improvement." -I appreciated that he did not reference pace-- but mentality. One person's race pace may be another person's "jog." I equate it to "effort."

Alisha stated: "I think you're a runner if you enjoy running on a regular basis." 

Ryan commented: "If you run on a regular basis, you're a runner. Whether it's short, long, fast, or slow; it's all running. I think the term 'athlete' would be a bit more specific. 'Athletes' train, while, perhaps, 'runners' exercise. You can run for the sake of running, and love every minute of it, but the 'athlete' term comes when you invest in a progressive training plan to gradually improve performance. Again, this is independent of speed, distance, etc." -WOW! I LOVED his comment!

Toni summed it up perfectly: "I believe you are a runner the minute you discover that you love to run." -Whether you love to run or love the challenge of the sport, if you keep coming back, even when it isn't "favorable," there is some kind of love involved. 

Finally, Tom shared that he was a runner: "When I learned to stand on two feet." -Nature versus Nurture comes to mind with this statement. -Some are naturally "gifted" with a good stride or biomechanics. Some were encouraged to run in organized sports as young children. Some of us were discouraged to participate in sports when we were younger and may not have a "perfect" cadence. It's the pursuit of improvement that unites us. In either case, cultivating good habits is never a waste of time, whenever we start. Activity and independence is vital to an emotionally happy life. Running is a sport that brings numerous people, locally, together. Whatever your pace or distance you are currently cultivating, keep up the pursuit. Eventually, you will confidently call yourself a true runner.