Sunday, August 2, 2015

Ugh! Hurt again & trying not to be totally bummed & feeling sorry for myself. Training was going well. It was to be "year of the ultra." I'm done planning for an ultra. I get hurt too often.

I reflect on Jim laughing when I told him I wanted to start running. I was so mad that he laughed in disbelief & told me I couldn't. In hindsight he said it was because I get hurt a lot "no offense".

The original mom that encouraged me to run said that she didn't know of anyone that got hurt more than me. So what is it? Why am I getting hurt more than others? Is it my complete lack of training & experimenting with my limits because I don't know I'm "not supposed to"? Am I really that awkwardly accident prone? Am I genetically inferior or muscularly imbalanced that makes me injury prone?

I was tired of laying around & may have overdid it, yesterday- going to work, trying to do yard work & clean the garage. I figured if Jim was working, we should equally be putting forth effort at home. I felt my ankle "give" & almost fell down. I was on crutches later that evening.

Today I am "ibuprofened", a brace & crutches.

I need to chill. I have work & life... & races still coming up. I need to realistically decide what my course of action will be. I see friends do trail runs with extreme elevation. I see extreme mileage being performed. I see multiple races being accomplished in a week by many. Why can't I do it, too? I should be grateful I can heal & try again... but seriously... why am I getting hurt in the first place? Is it really my tracking from my hip, still? --No answers of why it moves out of location except that I'm putting "excessive stress" from increased miles... I had trauma from having kids & my dog "torqueing" me a few years, ago. 

I don't want to be an immobile-heavy set- kids embarrassed of me- mom riddled with medical problems. I'd rather be the energetic mom kicking miles & telling stories of races! For now, I'm the gritting my teeth mom, on crutches, eating ice cream... dreaming & planning my next trail race.

Wearing my heart on my sleeve...


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