What does it mean to honor someone through an act? I've seen people run a race "in honor" of someone else-- but what does it MEAN... & more importantly... what does it accomplish?
Do the miles "miraculously" help the late person or sick family member? -Not usually. Does the sick family member reap any health benefit or satisfaction of the run? -No. "So why do people do it?" I wondered.
There is a local fireman that runs our local marathon in full firemen gear in honor of his fallen "brother". I see pictures of people on another's shirt, during races, or ribbons with names. I didn't understand all of these emotional actions until recently.
Do the miles "miraculously" help the late person or sick family member? -Not usually. Does the sick family member reap any health benefit or satisfaction of the run? -No. "So why do people do it?" I wondered.
There is a local fireman that runs our local marathon in full firemen gear in honor of his fallen "brother". I see pictures of people on another's shirt, during races, or ribbons with names. I didn't understand all of these emotional actions until recently.
Jim has been extremely sick- for months. There were many times that he could have died. While he is still quite weak & I tend to his care, I have still found time to run a few days a week. There is comfort for me in "structure". Anxiety & frustration were the norm. It is getting better. How did I make it through all of the anxiety? A few weekly runs through the woods expends a good amount of energy. Exhaustion would replace anxiety. Does this spent energy help Jim in any way? He smiles when I return & tell him what I saw or experienced. He tells me he will be out with me, again.
As I've waited to see how (& when) his health would rebound, I logged miles. Eventually my miles surpassed mileage of a 1/2 marathon. I asked Jim if he thought I could do our local full marathon, this spring. Again, he hinted toward doubt so I waited & didn't register. WHAT was I waiting for...? Death? Perfect health? -Why was I self-doubting? If I didn't try for the marathon, I would feel like I was settling for "less". I registered- just recently- for the Glass City full marathon on April 24, 2016.
As I sat in front of the computer looking at the "successful registration" screen, I thought: "What have I done? Can I do this? What if... I HAVE to do this." -It is difficult to explain. When your husband & your mother doubt your abilities, you believe them... then you need to prove to them that you are more than they believe... I need to PROVE it to myself that I am strong enough to hold it together through all of this "life stuff". I knew it was the right challenge for me. Increasing my mileage would be a way for me to quantify my strength & abilities while quieting my ever present self-doubts.
As my mind went back & forth between excitement & doubt, an overwhelming desire to run this race in honor of my husband became stronger. He "can't" right now; but I could "for" him. -Do the miles benefit him financially, physically or emotionally? -No: however, there is a strong emotional reaction on my part to try to connect to the discomfort he is going through.
To run in honor of someone is different for every person. You can quietly contemplate time with them while you run. You can wear their favorite color or carry a small object representing them during the race. A person can wear a picture on their shirt of their loved one for others to see or a ribbon with their name on it... To run in honor of someone may be visible to onlookers or private to only the runner. -To me, running in honor of my husband is symbolic of a course of recovery. It's a purely symbolic gesture, of course, denoting triumph over physical & emotional discomfort. This is exactly what this past year has been- triumph over death. Triumph over doubt. Triumph over negativity.
So I prepare for my own battle in April, thinking of the strength of my family & structure that running has brought me, this year. There has been comfort in the woods. I hope to channel what this ordeal has done to us as a family. In April 2016, I run the Glass City full marathon in honor of James Speer.
As I've waited to see how (& when) his health would rebound, I logged miles. Eventually my miles surpassed mileage of a 1/2 marathon. I asked Jim if he thought I could do our local full marathon, this spring. Again, he hinted toward doubt so I waited & didn't register. WHAT was I waiting for...? Death? Perfect health? -Why was I self-doubting? If I didn't try for the marathon, I would feel like I was settling for "less". I registered- just recently- for the Glass City full marathon on April 24, 2016.
As I sat in front of the computer looking at the "successful registration" screen, I thought: "What have I done? Can I do this? What if... I HAVE to do this." -It is difficult to explain. When your husband & your mother doubt your abilities, you believe them... then you need to prove to them that you are more than they believe... I need to PROVE it to myself that I am strong enough to hold it together through all of this "life stuff". I knew it was the right challenge for me. Increasing my mileage would be a way for me to quantify my strength & abilities while quieting my ever present self-doubts.
As my mind went back & forth between excitement & doubt, an overwhelming desire to run this race in honor of my husband became stronger. He "can't" right now; but I could "for" him. -Do the miles benefit him financially, physically or emotionally? -No: however, there is a strong emotional reaction on my part to try to connect to the discomfort he is going through.
To run in honor of someone is different for every person. You can quietly contemplate time with them while you run. You can wear their favorite color or carry a small object representing them during the race. A person can wear a picture on their shirt of their loved one for others to see or a ribbon with their name on it... To run in honor of someone may be visible to onlookers or private to only the runner. -To me, running in honor of my husband is symbolic of a course of recovery. It's a purely symbolic gesture, of course, denoting triumph over physical & emotional discomfort. This is exactly what this past year has been- triumph over death. Triumph over doubt. Triumph over negativity.
So I prepare for my own battle in April, thinking of the strength of my family & structure that running has brought me, this year. There has been comfort in the woods. I hope to channel what this ordeal has done to us as a family. In April 2016, I run the Glass City full marathon in honor of James Speer.
I am in love with that quote. Sums things up so much!
ReplyDeleteIt's been an emotional roller coaster, for sure. What we have experienced is no different than the emotional roller coaster that others have experienced, in their own way- their own circumstances. I am usually not the "sappy" type but this is just something that I, personally, really need to do. Eventually I may be able to articulate "why" a bit more clearly; but for now, it's a "need to"...
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