I never want to demean anyone's abilities or TRY to reveal "confidential talk". I am HONEST about situations, though. As a person who wants facts & progress reports, open about feelings or lack thereof... I just appreciate honesty & learn by trial & error. If my errors or experiences help my kids to avoid problems, then I absolutely will explain ANYTHING. If my running "crash & burns" help others avoid a pitfall, I share. Should I have known better- possibly. How does a newbie "know" unless they experience it or hear about it, though?

I was gun-shy to share Jim's physical issues, this past year. I wanted to be private... but I needed support, too. We were dealing with life or death decisions & I was feeling the stress. I wanted the privacy & wanted a hug without people touching me all at the same time. So WHY do I share, now? It's not to belittle Jim. It's to bring awareness & educate people on something I knew NOTHING about, previously. Jim's recovery is slow-going & we have no one that has ever experienced this, locally. IF this terrible thing ever happens to anyone else, I hope we can offer assistance.

Why do I share info about trail running, running buddies, injuries, gear, races...? Same reason- to educate & say what works for me... what doesn't... trial period lengths, etc. Someone is going to experience the same thing. I was told: "What happens on the trail, stays on the trail..." To some extent, I understand. But what if someone else learns from your mistake? Isn't it better to share?

I do NOT mean to demean my fellow running companions. I suspect they will show me up at races. I suspect we will have good runs & bad runs. It's the nature of the human experience. I tried running with other wives & moms. It wasn't a "fit" for me. They enjoyed each other's company. I was the odd man out. I did not mean to condemn them. They apparently enjoy each other's company. So why do I share that it wasn't a "good fit for me"- condemnation? No- I share as an example. I wrote off running with others after that experience. I was wrong. The new moms I'm running with are a good fit- pace & personality-wise. There was an adjustment on MY part, mentally. There is an adjustment on their part- terrain. I wrote about "waiting for them." Did I mean to demean my new partners' abilities? Absolutely not! I'm explaining the adjustment period- physically & mentally. What they pulled off on their first visit to Oak Openings is more than I was able to do! I commend their abilities & look forward to many miles, together.

I am candid- not demeaning. I talk about blisters, boogers, wind, rain, Yak Trax, nutrition, my floppy belly... I speak about my fears, my hopes... I worry about my husband. I worry about my girls. I HOPE my husband will get stronger sooner than later. I HOPE a good future for our girls.

I really HOPE my new running companions put up with me because in a short period of time they broke through "walls" that took years for me to put up, to keep feelings & "people" out. Now, they're "here". I respect them dearly... *said the guarded heart*