Last week, in addition to Jim being in bed all week-- not eating & losing MORE weight...  the dog ate something outside & had diarrhea all week! What a mess to wake up to! No one wants to clean it- so guess who gets ANOTHER body to take care of?

I had a new employee not show up for work & I needed to work MORE, in addition to STILL driving kids back & forth to high school, college & the museum... the new maniac cat getting into everything... THEN still going to work in the evening.

I feel guilty taking a short run during the day... but it's my only chance to internally cry, sometimes. I know it makes me stronger physically & emotionally... so I run for myself & my family.

I finally had to lay down the law with Jim. I explained that he could end up back in the hospital where they would force feed him. I told him that he looked anorexic & that people would say I wasn't taking care of him. I reminded him that he was able to bypass the rehab facility BECAUSE he said 'we could do it on our own.' Now, if he refuses to eat & is losing more weight, he puts all of us in a serious situation. He denied it, got on the scale while I was out of the room, & realized he is down to 155 pounds. He promised to try harder to take in more calories & that he wouldn't get to 150.

I don't foresee him working anytime soon which puts quite the load on me. I'm a bit fried but winter break is coming up. The girls will help with work & we will all get some extra sleep...

As for running: trails are my therapy. I internalize & let it go on the trails... I can "pick up" when I get home. I want to train for a full marathon in the Spring, for Glass City; but realistically, being the sole care giver for Jim, I think the 1/2 marathon will be the likely choice.

I worry that something will happen to me when I'm driving home at night, from work, & I worry what position that would put our family & business in... I can't dwell on it. It reminds me to be serious & alert-- but I can't worry about it.

Life is still good. I've discussed driving with the girls for their own independence. We've discussed their high school 4- year plans as well as college planning & ACT testing dates. I feel comfortable when all know the plan. It is easier for everyone to be supportive, despite their age, when they know facts, dates, reasons & how they personally could be affected.

Until further notice, life goes on... See you at work, passing you on the road for school drop offs... on the trails... or at the starting line of the next race...