Soul searching this weekend: what are my goals for running? I do want to compete. I want to get faster & I want to go farther. Most runners do. Genetics dealt me a short hand & I have to be realistic about how far I can go. But the nature vs nurture debate tells me to keep on trying... to see how far I can go... so I will.

I'm a mom & a wife. Part of me wants to be content "being content" taking care of them. BUT-- this new "thing" is brewing inside of me. I'm seeing advancement- finally- in speed. The progress is much slower than other people... but for the first time... I'm reading consistently faster times. 

This past weekend, I didn't "push" myself as hard as I have in past races.  I woke up with Sciatica from my tailbone, down my left side, on race morning. I thought about not running but after some ibuprofen I thought I'd be okay. I could "feel it" (a stab) just left of my tail bone & into my glute. I ran in the "yellow-orange" zone... compared to my easy "green light" pace of training runs. I didn't PR. I didn't get hurt & I'm beating myself up for not pushing myself. I've run in the "orange-red" zone & PR'ed. Could I have pushed it? SHOULD I have? I ran a pace that I couldn't, last year. So, while I'm happy I'm improving, I'm getting hungry for results. I've had success; but, now I want more. It's getting to be a very strong desire. 

Every runner eventually learns about running legends: past & present. Steve Prefontaine is best known for this quote: 

All I can think about is how I didn't give my best, this weekend. I haven't been training at my best because I've been a solo runner. I'm ready to bump up training. I may have speed because I've cut back miles & am uninjured. I may have speed because I'm finally training my ducky feet to point "straighter". I won't know until I try to up my miles & add speed-work. 

Seeing Jim's success with running reminds me to be happy with my sport. I'm proud of how far I've come but I'm coming off a plateau & peaking, again. I wouldn't be happy not seeing how far I can peak. So, I speak plainly: I want to achieve new PR's. I'm ready to add new cross training. I've been trying to better my form. I think it's working... so now comes "making my best, better..." 

I'm looking forward to some new, personal, successes.