My husband has been sick. I've been very candid about that...

Jim used to weigh between 205-210 & was in the 400 club. Meaning: he could bench press over 400 pounds multiple times. Seeing him get sick in September was hard. It was surreal-- but seeing him lose so much weight & seeing him so emaciated, now, has been scary. His weight rose when his abdomen filled with fluid. His weight rose to 224. Now, it has dropped from a past weight of 210 pounds to 129 pounds. I share this information, now; because, he is finally starting to GAIN weight. It's only a few pounds more, but he's not losing, anymore! He says it is WORK for him to eat. I can't comprehend... It's not work for ME to eat. ;) It is difficult sometimes to be patient & stop what I'm doing to make what he is in the mood to eat... but, the starving man receives anything he asks for.

Today was a good day. Jim is still frail & he has aged before my eyes... but, he is becoming more active & accompanying me more as I run errands. He rode with me to the park & napped in the van as I ran. I thought we would walk a bit, together after my workout but the morning routine was tiring enough. He dresses himself, now. His equilibrium was terrible & he couldn't dress himself a month ago. It is "the little things" of independence that we take for granted that I am proud to see him do, solo.

Today, his humor & teasing were so welcome. I know he still feels crappy... but to see him smile & joke around, even for a few moments, tells me that the crappy, long moments are breaking up to shorter amounts of time, during the day. I sat on the couch before I left for work & he rubbed my feet. He talked about replacing my Garmin watch. (It really only needs a new battery.) We talked about his health, my training, our kids, their education... We just "talked" as he rubbed my feet. I sense a closeness returning that only "slowing down" can bring.

Jim gets so frustrated at his slow progress... but I remind him that he will be the ultimate "come back" story. I tell him that when others get bleak about their health or scared, he will be able to console them & truly empathize with them. He will be able to be an example that others will be able to draw strength from...

I do NOT want anyone to go through this as a family... but it has been a truly humbling experience for all of us. I need to slow down & listen to Jim's needs. I need to stay positive for him... because if the roles were reversed, I'm sure I would be wallowing in self-pity. Jim needs to see how far he's come & also stay positive. I shared some photos I took of him in the hospital. He gasped & was quiet. It was sobering. He remembers none of it.

We look forward to the next few weeks & the next few pounds. I suspect his spirits will continue to rise as his strength returns. Until then, this come-back story is still being written & is "to be continued..."