Jim tells me I "don't like people." It's not that I don't like them, I have a hard time TRUSTING.

I've seen marriages fail-- not because they didn't claim to "love" the other person... but because they didn't love the other person MORE than themselves.

I don't trust imperfection. I worry that another person may love their own desires over the needs of their neighbor- specifically, my children. I don't trust that any person entrusted to watch my children has pure motive of their well being, all of the time. They couldn't... they're imperfect. Our children have also inherited this imperfection. It is my responsibility as a parent to protect, prepare & raise a responsible person. Usually raising a responsible person requires attention and praise. At other times this requires admonition & discipline. Always tempered with empathy and respect...

As I read about gun control, I think of this fundamental issue. I see people so bent on their own desires and "rights" they can be down right demeaning or bull-headed. -Controlling guns is not the basic issue. I see genocides being performed in Africa with machetes. Does one rally for machete control? In the Bible, Cain killed his brother by bludgeoning him with a rock or stick. Does one rally to ban rocks? -Where there is an evil desire, someone will plan with what is available to them.

While I do not advocate "for" the 2nd amendment & the NRA, I have benefitted from their existence. I do have guns readily available and my family knows how to shoot. We do not use them as "weapons" (against others) because we have been morally taught to respect life. On the flip side, would I use my pistol against another person in a life or death situation? I hope never to find out...

In an ideal world, I would trust my children's pure motives & others' motives, as well... but we don't live in an idealistic world.

I do not believe the glass is half full or half empty. I believe YOU fill your own glass with your own works... Some allow their "glass" to become empty and complain. Others demand or cry that they want others to make their glass "fuller". Some have more than they could ever fill their glass with and still desire "your" glass.

I dream of a fair world where others freely share and I don't have to worry of an ulterior motive other than what is stated. I am blunt when I meet people. I am not "rude" but (if I speak) I plainly lay out my intentions. Some call this wearing my heart on my sleeve. I call myself a guarded heart. If I speak, I will be direct. I speak plainly to my children and my husband. I speak "plainly" when I say 'I wish I could trust.'

Much would have to change on the world scene before I could relax... and lower my guard...

 

I was very proud of Jim, today. 1st of all I appreciated him being out there with me. I usually don't mind the first few miles... but as the miles go on, it's nice to have company.

The bike trails were busy with bikers, walkers, runners, skaters & a momma turkey with her 7 babies. (No photo) :( Jim stayed close until I ran out of gas toward mile 13. He got off his bike & ran with me, pushing his bike. Our pace was slow as I took walking breaks, then jogged... but it was good for both of us. I told him he was doing a "brick" work out. Triathletes train by biking then running in one work out session. I sensed a smile. 

16 miler in the books. Hills this week then 18, next week. Today wasn't pretty but I feel it all coming back.

The new Newtons are wonderful! NO BLISTERS, hotspots, sore feet-- at ALL! I would have to tape my feet incessantly in my Brooks, Asics or Saucony on any run 6 miles or more. Newtons have my feet baby soft with no blisters even after a 16 miler! YAY!

Still trying nutrition options but Tailwind & now, Honey Stinger waffles seem to work well for me. A bit "drier" than choking down a gel but no gagging gels, either. They sat in my gut well. --It's a learn as you go, thing.

I knew what my plans were this morning & my old "I CAN'T" mentality was powerful. "It's only 6. I did 14 a few days ago... But these are hills- lots of hills... I want to curl up & stay home. It will be good practice for Cleveland. It's a lot less than 16, later, this week! I 'can't..."
I got myself ready & headed out. The 1st three miles were pretty awful. I was foggy, clumsy, nothing felt natural or easy. I had taken 3 puffs of inhaler & was still having trouble breathing.... I just couldn't sync up. I thought about stopping after mile 3 but knew I'd kick myself, when home for not sticking with it. --Then something wonderful happened. I woke up. Even though I was warm because of the weather, my muscles warmed up. I thought of my upcoming races & played them through my mind. I planned my nutrition & decided which hydration vest I am finally getting. Before I knew it, the horrible hills were done. I know they will make me a stronger runner. I walked as I needed to but ran as much as I could. I felt accomplished & stopped at our local bike shop on the way home. Julie is the owner & was working, today. She is also an Ironman. She qualified & participated in Kona. We talked nutrition & I bought some single flavors of a lot of different items-- just to try different things. I've heard good things about Honey Stinger waffles-- wow! Yummy!!! Definitely packing these on my ultras! Lots more flavors & goodies to try.

What started as a mentally weak run finished with a feeling of accomplishment. I "rewarded" myself with a compliment, some nutrition samples & a new pair of sunglasses!

16 mile run, yet, this week. I'll do a lot less hills, then.

 

Jillian absolutely wanted to take one class at high school- marine biology (an elective). Other than that ALL of her other classes will be at UT, next year.

Each class she takes saves us about $1500-$2000 a CLASS. Why take a math class her junior year of high school then AGAIN in college & pay for it? It only makes sense to take those introductory classes, now. -Hannah's interest is perked because Jillian will be taking her art classes at the Toledo Museum of Art. Hannah flipped & said, "I WANT TO DO THAT!" (I want her to do that, too!)

It was the plan since we found out about it in elementary school: college classes her junior & senior year. Anthony Wayne has a program that if Jillian gets on the honor roll throughout high school, her freshman year's tuition at UT is waived! --While this has been the financial plan, I was SHOCKED that it came to fruition, today. We have more planning, like her placement testing for math & a driver's license... *gulp*

--Things are moving ahead. --We officially have a Rocket!

PURE AWESOMENESS!!!

Western States Endurance Run- 100 mile trail run- oldest finisher, Gunhild Swanson at age 70! Watch her sneak in under the cut off time of 30 hours.

Western States Endurance Run -oldest finisher- GUNHILD SWANSON

3 miles on the training schedule. I started with a novice schedule to accommodate my foot healing, but am now incorporating the long runs of an ultra training schedule. So far so good; but three seems insulting, anymore. I decided to make it three miles of hill repeats. --Ummm yeah... I remembered my first hill session all to well. Hill repeats are the only "speed work" I mindlessly know how to do. It's a love-hate thing...

As we settle at home, I think of what we accomplished this past week. Team Ohio is still a young team with limited resources & kids. Over the past 4 years, however, word has gotten out of what has been resurrected. For the first time in (???) decades, Team Ohio may have all disciplines filled, next year- recurve to muzzle loading & everything in between. For the first time ever, there are waiting lists to be on teams. For the first time, we may have qualifying meets to be on the team. ...The adults & coaches worked so hard this week to give these kids the opportunity-- all worked for FREE & spent much of our own money in support. Jim & another mom woke up SUPER early, every day to make breakfast for everyone. As soon as everyone left, they started lunches & organized to have them delivered to the various teams at different locations, at different lunch breaks. After that was done, they started dinner & breakfast prep for the next morning! They were amazing! I washed dishes, chopped & bagged whatever was needed to help. Another family stepped up to plate & delivered some amazing food as well. All took a load running kids & items whenever necessary. We're still in infancy but gaining experience, momentum, qualified coaches and talented kids. We have our eye on the podiums, soon... -I am so incredibly proud of the team effort. Last year was our first year to Nebraska. I met strangers & went home with friends. I drove out with 2 kids & came home loving more kids than I thought possible. This year, I made room for a few more. Not an easy feat for 2 "overly protective" parents to start socializing, again. I see good things on the horizon for Team Ohio as well as our family stepping more out of our comfort zone.

Things are getting organized & a bit more serious...