On November 4th, I had an interview. It is going to be in a documentary on the subject of “perseverance.” A fellow runner sent me a link to a Craigslist ad asking for participants. “You should answer this ad.” I hesitated. It seemed “braggy.” As I read the details, it explained how they would be detailing the chemical reactions happening in the brain as a “feel good.” EVERY runner knows about the runner’s high. How could I let this guy do a documentary about feel good chemicals on the brain without talking about running?! Sheesh! 😁I filled out an application explaining my “perseverance.” I got picked & we had a phone interview as well. Today I went with make up, no pony tail & a box of medals to “show” I’ve persevered. He asked me to take them out. As I started, I was shocked how many were in there! People have asked how many marathons & 1/2 marathons I’ve done. Honestly, I don’t know. I like the regiment of training. The race is just part of the training. He wanted a photo at the end of the interview. A fellow Run Toledo Ambassador came with me & snapped this photo. Today he will be doing other interviews. In December he will interview the doctors to explain the neuroscience happening in the brain. I can’t wait to see how it all edits together!

Knowing this interview was in the works, I wrote the following article for our Toledo Roadrunners newsletter. It arrived at my house the day BEFORE this interview. I was able to copy it and leave it with the gentleman doing the documentary.

Be Fierce and Persevere -By Sarah Speer

For years I have been at this running “thing.” At the beginning, a friend called me a “closet runner.” I was too embarrassed to let anyone see my awkward attempts of breathing, footfalls, arm swings, burgundy face and run-walk intervals. Wanting “more” finally led me to group runs and organized group training. My anxiety of running with others has been reoccurring- but completely unfounded. I still expect constant critique and am pleasantly surprised to find regular camaraderie and encouragement. During these group runs, my teammates and myself have discussed races, gear, running form and have shared TMI. In our group page and on social media we continue to encourage each other and share advice. Recently, I’ve discovered race day nutrition that has worked for me, personally. Before finding this, I had struggled at every race I had participated in. Because of not being able to find something that agreed with my gut, my “wheels” would fall off early in a race. I knew it would happen; yet, I participated, anyways. I have “preached” my new, nutritional find, hoping it will help others. It has. This prompted a friend to bring up the subject of perseverance. According to an online definition, perseverance is defined as: “not giving up. It is persistence and tenacity, the effort required to do something and keep doing it till the end, even if it's hard. Perseverance originally comes from the Latin perseverantia and means to abide by something strictly. This makes sense, because if you're doing something in spite of all the difficulty, you're being strict on yourself.” Is this why I expected others to constantly critique me and be “strict” with me; because, I was being strict with myself? I suppose I see this, now. According to the definition, however, this was an act of perseverance. The next question is: “Why?” Why do we continue to persevere at a sport that most of us do not get paid to participate in? Why do we train in the heat, cold, rain, at threshold paces and even during injury? -I have to say, personally, I find the struggle fulfilling. Knowing that advancement is inevitable, (however quickly or slowly it comes to each person) makes the physical discomfort, negative and emotional suffering tolerable. Knowing that uncomfortable things are tolerable- and can be overcome, eventually- is very empowering. It is all an act of self-discipline, self-improvement (physically, mentally and emotionally), patience and eventual reward. We chase a reward despite the delay or temporary discomfort. Our reward is personal. The reward may be a time goal. Your goal may be a distance. The goal may even be quieting an inner voice that says “can’t.” -We continue to train “strictly” and we persevere. Whether you persevere in your running, solo, or with a group, I hope this mentality and tenacity spills over into other aspects of your life. I am sure you already see the effects, there, already. When it is difficult, may you be brave when your heart is agitated. I hope you will be fierce when needed and calm if fearful. When the struggle is difficult, I know you can persevere.

SINCE initially writing that article, I ran the Detroit marathon. I had a pretty strong race (for me) considering I ripped my calf muscle the week prior to my race! I was icing, heating, compressing and resting to speed up the healing. Race day came and I was not worried like I usual. I was trained. I was rested and I had no pace I needed to hit. I HOPED to do a 4:15-4:20 marathon. I did 4:28. My calf started seizing up at mile 17 1/2. I felt "bubbles" from my lower calf to my mid calf. I slowed and controlled my pace, my calories, my effort level and my hydration- until I ran out of water. I took water from each aid station. My calf and leg completely seized up at mile 24 1/2. I had run 24 1/2 FREAKING MILES WITHOUT STOPPING!!! I was so proud of myself! It was not a conceited proud. It was a genuine awe of breaking through a previous barrier! That said, I missed a PR by seconds. It didn't matter. I finished knowing I had a race with relative control. (My next puzzle piece is solving electrolyte imbalances causing severe cramping.)

After Detroit, I took a few days off. I was SORE! My hips and quads were stiff; but, by day three I wanted to try and trot a few miles. NOPE! My toes and bottom of my right foot were in excruciating pain. I took another two days off, the whole time "taping" my foot just to get through the day. I had, previously, signed up for the Rocktober 10K, the week after Detroit. I thought all muscle soreness would be gone by then. I bandaged and used KT tape to wrap my foot simply to participate. I did not PR. My knee still had a niggle and the bottom of my right foot was extremely sore. I finally talked to my doctor about it. He suspected a stress fracture, prescribed a boot and told me NO RUNNING. I have since had an MRI. I am waiting to hear the results. I felt foolish. It had already been three weeks post Detroit. If I fractured my foot, it's healing. Is it worth getting a boot and an MRI? I ended up returning the $155 (out of pocket cost) boot. I bought a stress fracture "shoe" off of Amazon for less than $20. It is also from a medical supply place; but, it is MUCH easier to walk in. It is less intrusive to my gait.

So- I, again, persevere through another new experience. I am uncomfortable with pain; so, waiting hasn't been difficult. The discomfort is in my bone making it tiring to stand. It has been different than any injury or discomfort I have had before-> and I have had NUMEROUS discomforts, beforehand. Fractured foot or not (I'll find out soon), I'm taking it easy and dreaming of trail running, again.

I have been point blank honest about everything connected to this running “stuff.” 😁 I share TMI because I TRULY believed you grew up “just knowing” you were inherently good at something. I had a “fixed” mentality believing you had a “fixed talent trajectory.” As I have tried this running gig, I have come to realize a “growth” mindset. It seems foolish, now, to believe the fixed mindset mentality. It is equivalent to “fate.” A person having no ability to change anything, believing events, or the direction of their life, is beyond their control, doesn’t sit well with me. Call me a control freak. I call myself self reliant. 😁

So, I “share.” I share the mundane, not just the perfect training run. I share the small moments: a photo of a spiderweb, a flower, a turtle on the trail... I share the crash and burns: poor race performances or a literal face plant on the trail. I share what works: Training with a group (despite personal anxiety). I share how training with a group “works”: schedule, pace groups, encouragement and another “personal growth.” I share nutrition and gear reviews. I share to inform; so, others can see an example- good or bad. We can learn from what we see around us. I have been very candid about my “process.” 

A person doesn’t have to read any of this. As a matter of fact, many don’t. That’s okay. I just want others, like me at the start, who think they “couldn’t possibly run a marathon” to see the process- the sweaty, non glamorous, glorious process. When this all “clicks” for me, I hope there is a formula, or a “history”, that others can look to and not be afraid to try something new. 

This running lifestyle is empowering. When you struggle and stand on top of an obstacle, you can’t help but banshee cry from the top of that mountain! 

Detroit is this weekend. I have NO idea what to expect. Training was going fantastically until last week. Fortunately, most of my training was done. This week I have been on complete “rest.” My calf IS feeling better; but, it is not completely 100%. I have never started a marathon at 100%; so, I shouldn’t stress too much- however- I had high hopes for this race. Sunday, come what may, I am as ready as I will ever be. I’ll be preventatively taped and prepared with my own water and nutrition. I will start slowly and try to keep myself reigned in for the long haul. The goal is: all slow miles with no walking. I am optimistic to give that banshee cry at the finish line; but, I’ll probably be bawling like a baby if all goes well... or not... 

Detroit, here I come.

(Yes, I ended up buying the photo.) 

*TMI* 2012- my first marathon: as I saw the finish line, my VERY first thought was of my mother’s SEETHING, harsh scold when I told her I was training, “Why are you doing this?!” She didn’t think I could or should. -She didn’t want me getting a big head. My husband didn’t think I could. Here I was finishing what I also questioned my ability to accomplish. I was overwhelmed & the finish line/medal lady hugged me. “I did it...” I told her between sobs. “Yes, you did!” then she hugged me, again. I thought of my van being broken into, two weeks prior, my purse being stolen and the rush to get my passport reissued so I could participate in this event. I imagined this stranger consoling me was my mom- just once saying she was proud. I cried more even considering that. 

Now, I have Jim’s unwavering support & encouragement. My daughters & my sister are proud. My friends are encouraging. I look for reminders to "undo" my deeply entrenched mind games, to build myself up. I find them in the most unlikely of places: Pinterest... an ad in my email... 




That’s JUST what I needed to see before Detroit this weekend... 

As you may remember, I was encouraged to be a Girls On The Run Coach. I “knew” I should try it. I’ve always been drawn to kids. They’re frank & honest. I have always loved that. I’ve done numerous things in the past “for” kids; but, my own kids would also benefit from my efforts. This time, it would be volunteer work with no personal, familial benefit. I was a bit nervous expecting adults to question my motives. I had been playing a supportive role until this week. 

This past Thursday we discussed peer pressure. Coach Michelle led the discussion. (I feel better doing it that way. Her daughter is present/in the program. I feel she should be teaching her daughter; &, her daughter should see her mom in that position.) We played a game to see how others can affect you. During the game, the girls were trying to get the other girls to laugh while they walked down the center of the group. When finished, they discussed what they did to not laugh. 

During laps, both of us coaches role played with the girls. I would give them scenarios & they would have to tell me how they could respond. Their innocent faces displayed pure shock when I truly played the part. I didn’t read from the book. I whispered or whined or pleaded my case, why they should: let me look at their paper (cheat) during a test, or distract the lunch lady so I could grab a Rice Krispy. I explained how I would be in so much trouble with my parents if they didn’t help me... They LOVED  it! They got to think about it; &, we talked about how much MORE trouble we would both be in, later, when parents found out. We discussed what to say if ‘friends’ thought what we wore or activities we did were not “cool.” One little girl told me, “When I come back around, I want you to give me a really bad one. Ok? We’ll be the judge if it’s bad. If it’s not, you have to give me 10 squats... no... 10 push ups!”  I agreed. As the girls completed their lap, I gave them the scenario using my whispering, up to no good voice telling them why they should tell their parents I was with THEM when I was really doing something else... then we could all go & do ‘something.’ -Girl one rolled on the grass. “No! That is SO BAD!” 😂 Girl two: “Ok, that is bad...” Then they both proceeded to scold me & tell me why I shouldn’t lie to parents & tell the truth. It was pretty epic. The girl still wanted me to do push ups. “I will- when we get inside. We can do them, together.” Girl: “No!!!” When her mom arrived, we did them. The girl was nervous & couldn’t do 10; but, we did how many she could, together. I gave her a high 5. “Nyyce job!!!” She was smiling ear to ear! I was smiling, too. 

When I got home, I told Jim the scenarios we played out. “Sounds like those little girls are growing on you.” I guess so... 

“Girls On The Run: is so much fun.” (Our cheer) 

If you are a Toledo Roadrunner, you saw this in the last newsletter. If you are not a TRRC member, I wanted to share.

I have said- repeatedly- running doesn't come naturally to me. For some people, "natural" doesn't just mean physical. There are many reasons that prevent people from trying anything new. Here's mine:

You Can’t -By Sarah Speer 

No two words can deflate an ego, crush a dream OR inspire a rebellion. When I was growing up, I wasn’t allowed to participate in numerous social activities that many of my peers did. I was upset, peered at their world; but, I accepted it as “the way it was.” As I have gotten older, I struggle with the battle of “can’t.” Honestly, as an adult, I “CAN.” I can socialize. I know I can do whatever I want. The struggle comes with being conditioned since youth with the mindset that you are incapable or unworthy. This carries over to physical activities as well. Growing up- culturally, socially, religiously, racially: girls were to work, have kids, raise their babies, stick with the religion they were born into- the end. Currently, running, disassociated from my previously religious-missionary life style is almost an act of rebellion. Is it, really? Is running really such a rebellious thing? Running alters my mood. It has raised my health above what my family has ever experienced. Running through the woods has calmed my heart and introduced me to a socially accepting group of people- encouraging and supportive. Running has introduced me to a growth mindset. I really sucked at this when I started running at 40. Sticking with it has naturally led to improvement. That understanding has spilled over into other aspects of life. “What else can I try? I’m going to suck at the beginning; but, I’ll get better. Let’s try learning the cello! Let me try metal smithing. Let me learn how to weld.” Don’t underestimate the difficulty this initial mindset is to overcome. When you’ve been trained since infancy that an action or a life style is “wrong,” unattainable or somehow inappropriate, you truly believe it- every day. You may even be almost 50, still doubting your abilities, thinking you “can’t” or “shouldn’t.” Is running really the worst thing you could be doing with your life? If running is an act of rebellion then count me a safe rebel. Many of us still struggle with “can’t” for various reasons. Maybe you physically can’t- yet. I hope the rebel in you doesn’t settle for “can’t.” I hope the rebel in you dusts themselves off and tries, again. I hope the rebel in you encourages me at my next race. I rebelliously vow that I will support you at your next race. I know the rebel in me is fighting against “can’t;” because, I know we can, eventually, whatever the current limitation is.

Yesterday was group photo night for our training group, at track night. I have missed EVERY track session this cycle because of work. I have missed just about every tempo run with them; &, just recently, I started doing long runs with them. Because of this, I considered skipping the team picture. I have been doing the training, though; so, I sheepishly went expecting backlash. Of course, it didn’t happen. 💕 I only stayed for the picture then planned to head to work. I did see my physical therapist on site so decided to go over & see her. -One of the perks of the Dave’s MIT program, is that Mercy Health “loans” us physical therapists on track nights. My left “cheek” was on fire after my hill work out. The pinched nerve went down my left leg. I had been rolling & it eased up; but, why not have Dayna look at it. She made some smart Alec comment about a ‘pain in the @$$.’ Me: ”Yes, I am; &, yes, I have.” She asked if I was still doing my exercises she prescribed. Me: *silence- already an admission of omission* “I’m doing kickboxing, now.” I explain the side stuff we’re doing & how I hoped it was a substitute. Apparently not. She said she liked that my cadence is coming down. Me: “Not always...”

Then TODAY, as I debated if I should do the 4, 5 or 6 mile run on my weekly schedule (I’m juggling training & my work schedule) I ended up doing 6.32 miles on my beloved SOFT trails to give my body less of a beating. My pace was great for trails- and my cadence...? 187- EXACTLY what Dayna wants me to hit. My prior, average cadence was between 198-202. “Golden” cadence is 182 but that was unnatural for me & she tweaked it to “my” golden 187 goal. I didn’t even “try” to hit that cadence, today. Things are looking good- never perfect; but pretty darn good. 🤗

Google sent me an email asking if I still want to keep this blog active. :/ Ooops! I am so active on Facebook and writing regularly for our Toledo Roadrunners newsletter, I haven't been as active, here. I will keep this page open & try to jump-start my blog, again.

In the meantime, know that I am still running. I have made a HUGE break through with my race day nutrition! I have struggled with this since 2010. I have tried almost every brand of man made nutrition as well as natural means. I would start a race knowing I would struggle after the 1/2 marathon distance. I would embark, anyways. Then, one day working packet pick up at Dave's Running Shop, I saw some Honey Stinger "gummies." I had tried a few different brands of chews in the past. They all left: a bad taste in my mouth, me choking or with a stomach ache- UNTIL HOLY COW- I found the manna from heaven! (Incidentally manna was supposed to taste like honey cake.) I have been experimenting with this & it has been a huge break through! I have finally flown over the obstacle stopping me from competing well, jumped past my plateau, broken the wall. For the first time ever, I am excited for my marathon- which is in three weeks. (I just got butterflies typing that!)

My training has been going well; but, my nutrition & hydration plans have always been "broken." Not anymore! Not having to "drink" my nutrition allows me to drink all the plain water my body desires. I'm naturally a water drinker; so, this is a treat for me.

Of course, I will post about race day. Until then-> I'm working as hard as a bee. :)