I'm new to podcasts. Someone recommended Mojo for Running. It has been informative. While I started listening to it, at work, I found out that Runner's World had a podcast. I LOVE IT! Then Runner's World got another podcast: The Human Race. I LOVE IT! I found out about a fourth podcast: Another Mother Runner. At first I found Sarah's speech to Dimity a bit demeaning- okay a lot demeaning... but Dimity didn't seem to mind. Then I saw photos on their website. Holy cow! I certainly don't need to "protect her." She is (in her own words) an Amazonian woman (6'4")! As I tried to get past the chit-chat, I learned a lot. I learned about Altra shoes. I learned about heart rate training... then I heard the following podcast. Another Mother Runner podcast - Mental Toughness  OH MY!!! I listened to it at work. Then I listened a second time due to distractions. I listened a third time, at home, where I could take notes.

Many know I doubt my abilities. I, often, get PHYSICALLY SICK with anxiety before a race or even a training run. I emotionally shut down. I tell myself to suck it up... but I feel worse if I "yell at myself" & implode. I have listened to this podcast numerous times & this is what I took away from it (for me): POSITIVE PSYCHOLOGY.

*Do not focus on avoiding being fearful--> you end up steering right toward it (Don't tell yourself: "Don't be scared of -----." It's putting the idea in your head & will backfire.)
*Connect to something positive or NEUTRAL to keep you moving (When skiing, don't fear hitting a tree. Focus on the area between the trees & you will steer there.)
*Remind yourself: "This is what I love..."
*Remember: you are "prepared" (In life we get sick or situations arise that we miss training. Remember that you've prepared for years before this...)
*Focus on your BREATH- slowly & deeply to create a calm
*As endurance athletes we are an anxious or pressed bunch, we get wrapped up in tracking too much (HR, pace, etc).

*Connect to your body's "flow of movement." (Get out of analyzing everything & be in the moment of what your body is doing. Focus on that breathing.) 

I found myself getting anxious about tomorrow's long run. I heard this last night & today. I feel butterflies as I contemplate tomorrow with a group of people... but I will attempt to apply the points above. 

The question I get the most is: "Why do you get so anxious?" I was seriously injured at the beginning of learning to run. I kept running in that injured state with no relief- a leg out of socket & a misaligned SI joint. All of my "progress" was making things WORSE. I equate any progress with an eventual downfall. I am taking steps to avoid this but biomechanics are often going to stay. I am always waiting "for the other shoe to drop." 

For now, I follow the training, do more preventative... & remember to breathe... 

My swim teacher missed her second week with me. She is having a bit of a family situation. She is normally quite open & frank; but, has been reserved with communication. I'm hoping all is ok. In the meantime, I'm going to the pool, anyways. I try to do my own thing & just practice. My breathing is easier; but, I'm still quite winded just making it across the pool. I remember what my teacher told me: exhale completely & slow down your arms. The concept of not holding your breath & slowing down seems "simple." It's amazing that I have to THINK that through, though! I try to apply... & feel better as I make another length of the pool. My heart is still racing; so, I wait-- a long time. I know I'm not fluid. I don't know what I'm doing wrong but I notice I "bob" extremely low in the water whenever I use my left arm. Jim showed up to offer some advice & critique. He's trying to explain how Michael Phelps reaches farther, then is able to extend his pull in the water. I try. I bob... but I make it across the pool with no "panic." I don't know what I changed. I just know "I didn't used to do that. Now, how do I fix it?" Jim took a video and shows me in slow motion... 🙁 My right arm comes out of the water, most of the time "okay." My left arm doesn't clear the water enough & "scrapes" the water making a wave every other stroke. There is also a regular hesitation. I'm guessing it's me realigning myself in the water; but, I'm not sure. I'm still disconnected from what I'm supposed to be doing. I'm far from a strong swimmer-- but I am making it across the pool, now.

Progression is a reason to cheer... & then quickly re-evaluate plans and goals. I'm curious how my teacher is going to fix what I'm not sure is "broken." 😁 When the pool called & cancelled with me, I was relieved. The pressure was "off." I guess I should feel more pressure when she's not present. I want to be The Little Mermaid... not floundering Flounder! 😜

I do hope all is a well with her family... I kind of miss her, though, as my family.

I love this picture. At times when we see political unrest, we go for a run. When life is hectic, we run. When we ate too much & want to get some control, we run...

Did you realize that most races are also connected to a charity organization? Not only are you doing something for yourself... you're benefiting the community & helping others. Good for you!

Mercy Health Glass City Marathon is no exception. They have partnered with local organizations to "give back" to the community. You may choose to raise money for/ contribute to the organization, directly--or-- part of your race registration eventually filters to these charities.  See the official race charities and read about their organization by clicking below:

 Nonprofit Organizations connected to the Mercy Health Glass City Marathon

Train, race... do yourself some good, physically. Mentally, know that you're making the world a better place. You're SUCH a nice person!

Not my fastest pace, this weekend-- but an automatic PR because it was my first 10 mile race. 😜 Fastest "comfortable cruising" pace for a training run- considering there were 4 over passes and a couple more small inclines. I'm happy that I had a bit to pick up the pace at the finish. 10 mile race then another 3 1/2 with Jim. He hit 9 miles, Sunday!!! At the end, he picked up the pace and we were sprinting. He couldn't hold the pace for long, and I screamed- literally! We both laughed at the effort and we were quite pleased to be DONE! 😋

Tuesday is swimming then track work, tonight. Jim lifted weights yesterday & hit 235, again, on the flat bench. He was pretty proud! That's important to him. He says he still doesn't feel 100%; but, considering where he was a year ago, I'm amazed he rebounded as well as he has. 👍🏼

Last night, I had my first Flamework class at the museum. It was awesome! I can't wait to see what we do next week! I was quite nervous...but SO excited! It's been years since I've done anything truly classified as "art." I've done "artistic crafts"-- but this may be a LOT different. Yesterday was an overview of safety, equipment, technique, introducing ourselves, etc. We made glass beads just to "try." I, seriously, can't wait until next week!!! I'm taking notes so I know what equipment to get, later. This is d finitely something I could do at home, afterwards.

All-in-all, training is going well. I'm not as speedy as some. I am faster than others. I'm hoping to be "consistent" with performance, this year. Dave's Marathon in Training Group has given me a plan that I have been sticking with. Jim has been HELPING me be consistent when my negative talk starts in my head. He "holds my hand" & gets me out the door. It still isn't easy; but I'm hopeful for future races.

I was listening to a RW/Human Race podcasts at work. An interview with a member of the Sub-30 club struck a chord with me. She mentioned her husband's "arrogant" friends demeaning people's race pace by trying to "define" with a definite number what running "was." It struck a nerve. I've never felt like a runner because a long time ago, my husband said I couldn't. My mom sneered, "What are you doing?!" I kept trying, fumbling & getting injured as I logged solo miles/hiding in the woods. As I got some "confidence", someone told me I "wasn't running" at my race pace. It stuck & I STAYED a solo runner for years!!! As my pace improved, his definition of "running" changed! I was SO MAD & so hurt realizing I was chasing one (non-running) person's definition of "running." I knew I would never reach a "text book definition" of running. For years I believed I "sucked." Oddly, I stuck with it. While I don't mean to keep beating up my husband, mom & family for their words, I still couldn't "get over it." I still "hear" those words, today, in my own head. My husband has apologized profusely. His actions of embracing running, now, & supporting my endeavors are a complete 180*. He understands the struggle, now, is very empathetic & supportive... yet, I still beat myself up.

I've tried to support others despite their pace because I know how much it hurt. While I've gotten faster... it still NEVER seems fast enough. I "know" I'm faster & encourage new runners at every age, size & pace-- but I still fight that inner voice that tells me it's not good enough, that it will never be good enough... My "value" is based on performance. While I "know" it's not true... I kind of believe it IS true. "What's the point of training if I don't see numbers reflecting a good performance?" It is a two edged sword. I hold myself accountable & still juggle being merciful...

It was a soul searching podcast & I joined their FB group. I didn't pour my heart out to them but it was an eye opening moment. It helped me realize the root cause of much of my running insecurities. I realized my ego... my identity... my confidence... were all based on needing to provide consistent quantifiable performances. As a human, there are too many variables to be one linear acceleration of performance over the years. I know this & yet I still expect it.

I got teary at work. Despite being cerebral about all of this, emotions are involved. Hearing someone else say exactly what has impacted me & know it was "wrong" was a very "supported" feeling. -Knowing is 1/2 the battle... & maybe, now, I have the insight to know how to turn down that inner voice-- better yet, maybe I can shut off that arrogant voice...

Yesterday, I wrote about heart rate training. I posted information about a podcast onto Facebook. Within a few minutes I had people telling me how low their heart rate was... then asking what mine was. I had someone else telling me their heart rate "just couldn't get above XXX no matter what they did." When someone expressed a higher heart rate, person #2 said "That's weird..." -It went from individual performance to comparing (and competition) of performance. I deleted my post. -I usually never post my training times. I don't post onto Strava. Race day is hard enough without making EVERY day a performance/race. Sometimes I barely squeak out the miles. Today was no exception.

The thought of a 6 mile run, today, didn't seem daunting yesterday. "Easy-peasy," I thought. As I got up & around, my usual negative talk started. "I can't do 6!!!" (Ummmm... I did 17, Saturday... I KNOW I can do 6-- it's a matter of how WELL I can do 6-- according to my own standards) -I gave myself permission to go slowly, be sucky & only do "two" (laps of 3 miles each). I can't explain why this comforts me, sometimes. The math is the same-- it's 6 miles... but somehow telling myself "2" isn't daunting. I couldn't get my heart rate monitor to sync because I shut it off, last night. It finally paired at some point that I didn't notice; &, my experiment didn't happen, today. -It's done. And despite my initial trepidation, it wasn't as horrible as my mind was telling me it was going to be. 😇 My buddy Lucy slowed me a bit with her ample sniff-pee-poo breaks but I didn't mind, today. 

They say the hardest part is getting out the door. Sometimes, that is VERY true. 

I'm not sure "why", but yesterday's miles glitched out on my iRunner. Before we ran together Jim saw my miles in HIS iRunner! 😮 I'm not sure what happened but indeed I ran +9 miles with the group, Saturday. THEN, I ran 8 miles with Jim! I'm surprised I am not hurting more. I'm a bit tight but nothing to worry about. I've been holding out at 10 for a long run for awhile... I'm proud I could do it. Jim was surprised when I said I was going to go with him. He did great! His pace is slow right now but he never stopped to walk. He has a cruising speed and significantly picks it up at the end!

I bought a "new" (used) OrangeMud hydraquiver from a mom running site. It's a single barrel & I have a double barrel but only use one side. Mine is a vest and I love the extra front pockets and the fact that I don't have to carry a water bottle. I usually carry hydration for Jim & myself on a long run. I gave him the single barrel & it was a quick adaptation! I prepped some Tailwind into the bottle & he was his own independent being! 👍🏼 I did remind him to drink every couple of miles. He commented at the end that he wasn't thirsty at the beginning and he noted the variation of the taste of the drink at the beginning of his run compared to the thirsty end of his run. 😊 He is most definitely more of a natural at this than I am. His gait is straight. He has a steady cadence and doesn't over stride. He isn't affected by other runners around him despite recognizing them. Every runner learns their cruising speed- a speed that is slow and effortless that allows them to really go for long distances. He's got that understanding.

The next thing we need to work on is hills and elevation changes. That will translate into a good pace and leg strength overall. I think he's ready for it on some of his shorter runs. I hope he's receptive to it. It's gonna' really suck... but it can be fun, too-- especially on race day!

Week three of marathon training starts Monday. He is unofficially in week 6 of 1/2 marathon training. I'd say we're on a roll! 👍🏼